OK, so this is really an update from the last post. I was talking to my lovely big sister, Jenny, the other day, and we started talking about birth order and different attributes of such. I realized later when thinking about some things she'd said that I'd been going about the problem with Sam and bed time all wrong.
So I reevaluated what Sam is all about currently:
- He responds much better to praise and loving and snuggles than to punishments and anger/harshness
- He's recently (mostly with the onset of potty training) become VERY independent and wanting to be a Big Boy
- He more or less idolizes his big brother
So taking these items into consideration, the other night when I put him to bed, he and Tim were VERY wound up, and not settling. So I decided to just leave them for awhile, and go put Josh to bed. When I finished with Josh, I checked on the other two, and sure enough, Sam was out of bed, out of his pj's, and had turned on the light. He had also pulled Tim's pillow through the bars of the crib and was pulling stuffing out the little hole that was in the end of it (I have since replaced it with a non-holey pillow). He said he needed to go potty, and I asked if he wanted his spank for getting out of bed before or after he went potty. Of course, he said after, so I let him do his thing, and when he finished, I spanked him, then waited for him to stop crying. Then I sat him down and we talked about how he made Mommy really sad when he disobeyed. I wanted to be proud of my big boy, like I was of Josh. Josh stays in bed and goes to sleep at night time, and Mommy is so proud of Josh. Mommy wants to be so proud of Sammy, too. So you need to stay in bed and not turn on the light. You need to lie down and be still and quiet, so you and Tim can go to sleep. That will make Mommy and Daddy so proud of our Big Boy!! We want to be proud of you, not sad. Sam really identified with that part, b/c I had a slight (ok... more than slight) emotional day a few days ago, and he now knows that Mommy cries when she gets sad, too.
So after this whole talk, he was still pretty wide awake, but I put him back in bed, turned on the nightlight and scout music, and left him with the reminder to make Mommy proud. I was doing some organizing in my bedroom for awhile, and when I went to check on them about 20 or so min. later, Sam was in bed and the lights were off, though he was still awake. A few min. later AJ got home, and reported that there were no lights on in Sam's room, and we heard no noises, despite that he must have heard AJ coming in. So I was super proud of him, but wasn't sure it would work again. Tonight I did the same speech, more or less, and when I went back in to check on them later, though he'd stripped to his pull-up, he was still in bed, not in Tim's crib, the lights were all still off, etc.!! So I actually changed his pj's, b/c I think he might have been hot, and then reminded him to stay in bed and make us proud, and when I went up awhile ago, he was sound asleep, still with his clothes on, and all lights were off!! So glad! Not sure if it will stick for good, it might stop working after the newness wears off, but I'm hoping that maybe it'll become more of a routine for him to STAY in bed and maybe he won't fall back into his old bad habits.
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