I had this dream three times last night/this morning before waking up the third time to an awake Josh and having to get up. Just as well, b/c everytime I woke up, I figured out it was just a dream and was VERY depressed. The first time I woke up after it, I actually thought it was real...
OK, so here's how the dream went: I'm downstairs, sitting at the computer, like I was last night, being a little sad b/c Sam is still up high, and it feels like he's never gonna get here...and then all of a sudden I feel like I have to push, and someone is there to hold me up, and I push one time, and he's born, and safe and healthy...and then all of a sudden I was at home, or all my sisters/parents/family was somehow here...not sure which, but they were here! I realize now, typing this that it seems incredibly unlikely, but I saw him and held him and stuff...he even sprayed me when he peed the first time, that's how real it was! I actually thought for about 3 seconds when I woke up to AJ's alarm, that it was real...but then I realized I was still pregnant, and the truth sank in...I was so sad, it was like having him taken away again! And as if that weren't bad enough, then I proceeded to have this same dream (slight variations, and never as real) two more times this morning!! What's up with that? It's kinda tortuous, which I realize sounds very dramatic, but seriously, this dream felt REAL!! And I'm waiting and waiting to meet this little guy...and I want to be sure he's ok, and let the doctors check out his heart and see what's causing the problems and stuff...I'm just ready for him to be here, and only about 1/3 of the reason is b/c I'm sick of being pregnant...I just want to see him and hold him and make sure he's healthy and ok.
Anyway, I think these dreams should be limited to once a pregnancy or something...at least once a night, I mean, come on!!
OK, done complaining now...I'm gonna post some pics today, I promise...I know it's been forever and all I've done lately is ramble. So check back tonight or tomorrow morning for a more interesting (hopefully) post with pix of Josh.
Grant's 11 Month Update
6 years ago
3 comments:
Okay so your last couple of posts are sad. :( That's AWFUL about the water -- yick. That would so stress me out. I don't really have anything too cheerful to say, but you will sleep better after the baby is born, and having a newborn the 2nd time is easier than the first -- you at least sort of know what you're doing. Maybe you should start a project that would be difficult to finish after the baby is born like scrapbooking or something, then if he comes soon you'll be happy he's here and if he doesn't come for a few days, you'll be happy this project is done. I'm trying to show you the bright side of things. :) And eat chocolate.
I 2nd the chocolate!!! So does Bren who didn't get any tonight because he didn't eat his dinner and he cried and I said, "nyah nyah you should have eaten your dinner mm mmmm good!!" b/c I'm evil and hope that he'll remember THAT tomorrow night...and the spankings he got for standing on the couch AND playing when he was supposed to be going night-night. It is SOOO much easier with the 2nd, especially with a rambunctious 2 yr. old to off-set the calm of the newborn. He'll be here before you know it and maybe the dream was God's way of telling you to not forget to keep the "firehose" covered at ALL times...at least till he can control it a little. That and it might have been a memory from when you first had Josh intermixed with the expectation of Sam just to get you remembering all the fun/good stuff that you said you'd almost forgotten since Josh has become a "Big" boy. And that Sam will be perfectly o.k. and will be at home and peeing on you before you know it. Sweet Sam! So many love you before you even know what that means!
Y'all, thanks for your encouragement! And I'm thinking you're completely right about sleeping better with Sam here, than I am right now!!! It can't get too much worse...
However, just to let you know, I'm over my crummy mood for now...Josh taking a nap today and letting me get one, plus discussions with Shannon (love you!), and getting my stuff done, have combined to make me feel much calmer and happier than I have in days!! I even feel like I can wait till after my due date if I have to...but I still don't want to!! Part of that is that I want to be right about him being early...part b/c I'm just very eager to meet this little guy!!
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